I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
