I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
