Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
