We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
