Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
