oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
