i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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