beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
