i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
