I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
