ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
