I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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