he wants to bone in the snuggie
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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