can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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