So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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