They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
