508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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