I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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