he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
