I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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