You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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