Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think a kid would responsible me up
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
