so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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