Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
