You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
