is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
