Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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