Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
