I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
