I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
