Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize