when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize