are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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