take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
