whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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