I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
