Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
