my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
