Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
