she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
