I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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