Your mouth is God's brothel.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
