remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
