what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize