So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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