I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
