doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
