They should really pass out barf bags in church
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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