The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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