Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
