did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
