If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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