Jerry, you need to find god
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
