I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
