There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Green mimosas i think yes
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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