She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
