so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
