dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
