you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
