RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
