I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
