I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
