I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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